Quotes & Advice Lists
The audio podcast itself is the primary delivery mechanism for the content of the series but listeners have requested written copies of the quotes included in the episodes as well as the list of ideas that are provided. These are now more recently provided in the Lyrics tag in the individual mp3 audio files. You can access this material if you have an iPhone or iPod Touch by tapping on the screen while the podcast is being played. You can also access the quotes and top 10 list for a specific episode within iTunes while in the Podcasts view by right clicking on the episode, selecting Get Info, and then selecting the Lyrics tab.
Listeners have also asked for this material for the entire series in one place. This material is therefore now provided to serve this need. Thanks for listening to the podcast and I hope you find quotes and top 10 lists valuable too. Please note that the first few episodes didn't settle on 10 ideas per episode but over time that's the number that was arrived at for the subsequent episodes.
Please note: if you took notes for the episodes that have missing notes (indicated by "in progress"), please send them to lifehabits@gmail.com
Episode 1 - Overview and Setting Priorities
- Starting with the end in mind
- How you would like to be remembered
- Determine what is most important to you
Episode 2 - Time Management
Thomas Edison, “Time is really the only capital that any human being has and the only and the only thing you can’t afford to lose”
- Take control and don’t be controlled by time
- Use a yearly and weekly time scales
- Set weekly plans on Sunday
- Prioritize your roles
- Focus on the non-urgent and important
- Change meeting lengths and take time for yourself
- Select the optimal communication method
- Take control of electronic communication
- Effectively multitask and delegate
- Don’t over schedule
Episode 3 - Staying Positive
Helen Keller, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us”.
- Glass half empty or full approach
- Determine how to react to situations
- Focus on positive behaviors of others
- Dwelling on the negative is destructive
- Make deposits in the emotional bank account
- Use the positive to motivate yourself
- Energies your own mind’s positive perspective
- Practice positive behaviors and thoughts
Episode 4 - The Power of the Mind
Marcus Aurelius, “You have the power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength”.
Examples of the power of the mind, the ways in which it can take control without our knowledge, and what we can do to avoid the effects of them.
- Placebo effect
- Re-constructed memories
- Confirmation bias
- Bandwagon effect
- Base rate fallacy
- Illusion of control bias
- Gamblers fallacy
- Planning fallacy
- Halo effect
- In-group bias and out-group homogeneity bias
- Groupthink
- Cognitive dissonance
Episode 5 - Working Remotely
Joe Bitner, “Many not only work from home but they can also work from a remote island if they want. A lot of what we do is to meet with our clients but once you’ve sat down and discussed with them their business plan, you can do the actual work from any location.” Optimize flexible hours
Episode 6 - Career Planning
Lewis Carroll, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
(in progress)
Episode 7 - Career Strategies
(in progress)
Episode 8 - Authentic Parenting
“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.” Bill Cosby
“Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes” Chinese Proverb
“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” P.J. O'Rourke
“Parents who are always giving their children nothing but the best usually wind up with nothing but the worst” - Parent
- Life Balance - kids time - adults time
- Foster good self-esteem
- Management vs. relationship
- Responsibility - chores
- Give them space to learn for themselves
- Develop shared interests and do them
- Set limits and be firm about them
- Establish a clear set of values & model them
- Keep tabs on age appropriate rules
- Tell them you love them and show it - you might not always like their behavior but always love them
Episode 9 - Fitness for Life
John F Kennedy “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”
Jack Lalanne “I just want to see how long I can keep this thing going. The easiest thing is dying. Living is a a pain in the butt.”
Julius Erving "If you don't do what's best for your body, you're the one who comes up on the short end."
- Health is the great equalizer - you've only got one body, one set of genetics, and no amount of money or influence is as effective as just you looking after the one body you have - and fitness is the way to get there
- Exercise and overall fitness boosts your brainpower, clarity of thinking, and lowers stress, and increases your energy
- When you get the body you want through excercise you feel better, look better, and feel more confident interpersonally
- Make fitness your most important goal for life
- Fit excercise into your daily routine
- Choose an excercise activities you like but they've got to both aerobic and strength based
- Make the activity more enjoyable (iPod) or make it social
- Set realistic but sustainable milestone goals and make them public for motivation
- Re-start the program if it lapses and don't be discouraged - this is a life-long quest
- Celebrate successes as if they were the most important achievements in life - which they are
Episode 10 - Effective Public Speaking
Jerry Seinfeld, "According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."
Roscoe Drummond, "What this country needs is less public speaking and more private thinking"
Dale Carnegie, "There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave."
Mark Twain, "It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
Franklin D. Roosevelt, "Be sincere; be brief; be seated."
Different types of public speaking - large group in-person presentation, conference call presentation, speaking up in a meeting or call.
- Decide whether to do it
- Consider why you're doing it and what you want to say
- Understand who your audience is
- Determine where you'd like to do it
- Be clear, concise, and organized - focus on no more than three major messages
- Speak more slowly and louder than you think you should
- Prepare visuals to guide and reinforce what you want to say - don't read words on slides
- Stay connected with the audience and ask them questions and comments
- Reinforce the key message and follow-on actions required in wrapping up
- Ask for feedback from peers, listen to recordings, and plan on how to improve and practice
Episode 11 - Interpersonal Communication
Quotes:
Confucious, "Tell me and I'll forget. Show me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll understand" George Bernard Shaw, "The greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished." Turkish Proverb, "If speaking is silver, then listening is gold." Henry Ford, "If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view - as well as your own."
Top 10:
- Express graditude - say thank you for meeting
- Small talk to get settled - personal connection
- Say something positive even if the focus in negative
- Be clear re your objective & try for win-win
- Choose tone - calm or assertive (not aggressive)
- Active listening - repeat back - eye contact, distracted
- Non-verbal communication - movement & sighing, tone
- Empathy - understand their view - including conflict
- Ask for feedback periodically - does this make sense?
- Summarize follow-up, commitment, & express thanks
Episode 12 - Dealing with a Flat World Quoted stats - World Internet Users - March 2008 Asia 37.6% Europe 27.1% North America 17.5% My sites - 60% NA, 20% Europe, 15% Asia, 5% rest
- Appreciate that the world exists - avoid enthocentrism
- Consider where "here" is when mentioning place
- Pronounce names properly - listen to voicemail
- Be aware of idioms and language differences eg. hitting a home run, at the end of the day
- Be careful with sports & government references
- Avoid cultural minefields i.e., people's names in red
- Speak more slowly and use simpler grammar/vocab
- Learn more about other cultures/biases (from staff)
- Whenever you're comfortable - check - left side of road
- Given trends, if you're good at this, you'll prosper
Episode 13 - Taming Technology
Make it work for you rather than being a slave to it.
Stewart Brand, "Once a new technology rolls over you, if your're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road."
Mitchell Kapor, "Getting Information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant."
Bill Gates, "The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency." off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant."
Control your interruptions (inputs) and your workload (outputs) via technology to lower stress, make more time for yourself, be more effective, and enjoy life more.
- iPods/iPhone to multitask - podcasts & audiobooks
- Text messaging - keep in touch efficiently
- Voicemail - rather than being interupted
- e-mail - twice a day, filtering, short replies
- Electronic sicky notes (post-it notes)
- Calendar (diary) block for your time
- Instant messaging control
- Social networking - reconnect & stay connected
- Web through rss and services (banking, etc)
- Heart-rating monitors, GPS, treadmill, DVR
- Unplug entirely
Episode 14 - Sex Differences
Research shows that there are very few differences between the sexes in cognitive abilities and psychological traits. Sex and computers.
But there are certain important trends, hearing, seeing, risk taking, response to stress, communication, compassion/cooperation -- most women prefer feeling and most men thinking. Men talk more in public but women more at home, women make more eye contract, and agree rather than debate.
There aren't major differences in things like intelligence, there are many differences that are important to be aware of in order to be effective in life. You should drive for equality and fairness while also being aware of and optimizing for differences.
- Equality through Awareness & acknowledgment of both sexes (his)
- Sexist language, attitude, and behavior (comfortable)
- Remove biases (power of the mind episode)
- Optimize androgyny
- Men - listen more actively, cooperate, compassion
- Women - speak up more, risk taking, confidence 6. Learn from the other gender Celebrate Differences
- Feel good about being feminine or masculine
- Use the power of your gender
- Make sure it is appropriate in the context
- Nobody is perfect on this topic - mistakes will happen
Episode 15 - Achieving Success
Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Bob Dylan - A person is a success if they get up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
Monty Hall - Actually, I'm an overnight success. But it took twenty years.
Woody Allen - Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Albert Einstein - Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Malcolm Forbes - Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
Dale Carnegie - Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.
Author Unknown - Some people dream of success... while others wake up and work hard at it.
Author Unknown - Most look up and admire the stars. A champion climbs a mountain and grabs one.
Mahatma Gandhi - As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world...as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Set, document, visualize, & own your goals and subgoals
- Assess your abilities, resources, and deltas
- Consider any biases, childhood fears, parental pressures
- Factor in family arrangements, kids, etc. (balance)
- Education, training, and experience
- Network, mentor, and be mentored
- Just do it - act before you think - take risks
- Expect and learn from setbacks - continuous learning
- Periodically reevaluate progress & correct course
- Do what you love and love what you do
Episode 16 - Positive Psychology
Four Ways to Build Self-Efficacy Gratitude at Work Learned Optimism and Resilience Celebrating Successes Effectively Establishing the Conditions for Flow Broaden and Build: The Power of Positive Emotions Meaningful Work Strategies for High-Quality Connections Discovering and applying strengths
Episode 17 - Managing Anger
Don't be a slave to your emotions - don't let others control you - control yourself Powerful emotion can result from frustration, hurt, annoyance, disappointment
Waldo Emerson - For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Benjamin Franklin - Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.
Marcus Aurelius - How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Chinese Proverb - If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
Bobby Hull - Always keep your composure. You can't score from the penalty box; and to win, you have to score.
Horace - Anger is a brief lunacy.
- Pause, don't respond, take deep breath, parasympathetic, delay - stimulus/response
- Communicate in person not e-mail/text, etc.
- Write it down in e-mail but don't send it
- Try to understand the other person's point of view
- Stick to the facts, not character - this is a mess vs. you're a messy person
- Work on solutions rather than restating problems - future focus not past
- Practice what you're going to say while visualizing the situation
- Think about what you're modeling (for kids)
- Practice simply getting control of your emotions in a variety of situations
- Nobody is perfect - learn from your mistakes
Episode 18 - Self-Actualization
Bill Gates - The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Steve Jobs - Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
Norman Vincent Peale: One of the greatest moments in anybody's developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is.
Og Mandino -Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.
Unknown Author - Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth.
Deficit Needs - Physiological, Safety, Belonging, Esteem Being Needs - Self-Actualization - be all that you can be
Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Albert Schweitzer, William James
- Solitude - away from everyone & everything - including technology
- Relaxation - breathing, meditation
- Personal reflection - dreams, goals, progress
- Feel satisfaction with yourself
- Feel and express gratitude
- Visualization - future state
- Independent/autonomous
- Humility and respect for others - compassion, forgiveness
- Freshness of appreciation - creativity - outside the box
- Reset button - daily or at least weekly
Episode 19 - Forgiveness and Compassion
Josh Billings - There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Mohandas Gandhi - The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong
Friedrich Nietzsche - I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in awhile and you must forgive them for that.
Buddhist saying - If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.
Dalai Lama - If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Haile Selassie - It is much easier to show compassions to animals. They are never wicked.
Leonardo da Vinci - The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals
Forgiveness is the process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Rely on religion or not - whatever works
- Understand who is hurt most by you not forgiving
- Decide that why isn't important
- Acknowledge your own role
- Express your feelings
- Communicate your forgiveness
Compassion is a profound human emotion prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to an active desire to alleviate another's suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the key component in what manifests in the social context as altruism. In ethical terms, the various expressions down the ages of the so-called Golden Rule embody by implication the principle of compassion: Do to others as you would have done to you. Research - dealing with pain or just deeply trying to do the right thing for other people and animals.
- Better to give than receive
- Actions speak louder than words
- Random acts of kindness
- Planned acts of compassion
- Karma - All living creatures are responsible for their karma - their actions and the effects of their actions
Episode 20 - Fostering Creativity
Edward de Bono - "Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way."
Arthur Koestler - "The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards."
Albert Einstein - "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
Smiley Blanton - "A sense of curiosity is nature's original school of education."
Mary Lou Cook - "Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun."
Frank Capra - "A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something."
Thomas W. Higginson - "Originality is simply a pair of fresh eyes."
Erik Christopher Zeeman - “Technical skill is mastery of complexity, while creativity is mastery of simplicity”
- Understand - the context
- Analyse - the current solutions
- Be Curious - explore dramatically different contexts
- Trust Intuition - feelings, emotion, hunches
- Brainstorm - generate a lot of ideas without criticism (daily reflection period)
- Document - make notes regularly of your wild ideas
- Prototype - test your ideas in quick and easy ways
- Get Feedback - solicit input from key stakeholders
- Iterate - make changes based on feedback
- Stay the Course - don't give up - great innovations often take time to take hold
Episode 21 - Simplifying Life
Albert Einstein - "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler. "
Henry Ford - "Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. "
Leonardo da Vinci - “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
Richard Bach - “The simplest things are often the truest.”
Frederic Chopin - "Simplicity is the final achievement"
Frank Lloyd Wright - “"Think simple" as my old master used to say - meaning reduce the whole of its parts into the simplest terms, getting back to first principles.”
Hans Hofmann - "The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak".
- Take Stock - of what you do in a week
- Prioritize - use the life priorities of episode 1
- Less is More - consider dropping the bottom items on the list
- Delegate - don't try to do it all yourself
- Set Limits - Don't sweat the small stuff - good enough
- Block Time - for yourself and specific activities weekly
- Just Say No - practice not getting into more commitments
- Clear Clutter - especially your work space - clears the head
- Single & Multi-Task - determine what can be done in parallel and what not
- Check Progress - regularly and make adjustments
Episode 22 - Stop Procrastinating
Wayne Dyer - "Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy"
Benjamin Franklin - "You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again"
Abraham Lincoln - "Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle"
Napoleon Hill - "Don't wait, the time will never be just right"
Martin Luther King Jr. - "You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step"
Proverb - "One of these days, is none of these days"
Unknown Author - "I always wanted to be a procrastinator but I never got around to it"
- Understand
- Simplify life
- Subdivide tasks
- Set mini-deadlines
- Make deadlines public
- Put it in your Face
- Remove distractions
- Reward yourself
- Internalize non-Procrastination
- Generalize
Episode 23 - Taking Stock
Pele, "Practice is everything" Yogi Berra, "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." Leonardo da Vinci, "I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do." David Starr Jordan, "“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.” Unknown author, "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved”
- Set life priorities (Episode 1:Setting Priorities)
- Make time for yourself (Episode 2: Time Management)
- Focus on positives (Episode 3: Staying Positive)
- Avoid biases (Episode 4:Power of the Mind)
- Relationship vs. management (Episode 8: Authentic Parenting)
- Fit excercise in to get fit (Episode 9: Fitness for Life)
- Avoid enthocentrism (Episode 12: Dealing with a Flat World)
- Make technology work for you (Episode 13: Taming Technology)
- Optimize Equility & Androgyny (Episode 14: Sex Differences)
- Just to it (Episode 15: Achieving Success)
Episode 24 - Managing Stress
Lee Iacocca, “In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” James C. Dobson, “There are very few certainties that touch us all in this mortal experience, but one of the absolutes is that we will experience hardship and stress at some point.” Sydney J Harris, "The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." Bill Clinton, “Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it's the time when they most need to think.” Britney Spears, “Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking about things that I stress about.” Reinhold Niebuhr, "Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; the courage to change that which can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other"
Top 10 List:
- Understand circle of influence
- Lower arousal level via breathing
- Progressively relax muscles
- Exercise vigorously
- Get sufficient sleep
- Distract yourself
- Get social
- Focus your energies
- Moderate substance use
- Assess progress
Episode 25 - Blogs and Podcasts
Quotes and Facts:
Rebecca Blood, "A weblog is a coffeehouse conversation in text, with references as required." Paul Boutin, "Twitter, Flickr, Facebook make blogs look so 2004" Jason Kottke, "Growth of Twitter vs. Blogger - crazy insane viral growth" Pew Internet Project, "Podcasting continues to grow by leaps and bounds, with the total audience for podcasts increasing by 58% in under two years...those that download podcasts every day - has gone up 300% in the same time". FeedBurner, “podcast circulation is consistently growing nearly 20% per month.”
Top 10 List:
- Search for topics that interest you in Google Alerts & Twitter & iTunes Store
- TED Talks video or audio podcast
- TVO Big Ideas
- This American Life
- Harvard Business IdeaCast
- The Economist
- Stuff You Should Know
- Grammar Girl
- Skepticality
- This Week in Tech (The Tech Guy)
To access these podcasts, simply search for them in the iTunes Store. Karel's coordinates: Blog karelvredenburg.com, karelvredenburg on Twitter, and search for karel vredenburg in iTunes for podcasts
Episode 26 - Resilience
Quotes:
Anais Nin, "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage." Toller Cranston, "Wings are not only for birds; they are also for minds. Human potential stops at some point somewhere beyond infinity." Bob Richards, "It may sound strange, but many champions are made champions by setbacks." Ralph Waldo Emerson, "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Michael Jordan, "Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." Horace, "Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant."
Top 10 List:
- Understand your level of resilience
- Assess and anticipate - challenges and changes
- Consider strategies to avoid negative outcomes
- Diversify areas of focus - multidimensional
- Support system - friends and family - people you can trust
- Relieve stress via exercise and hobbies
- Focus on the positives
- Keep things in perspective - priorities
- Act decisively when that's required
- Take stock regularly
Episode 27 - Gratitude
Quotes:
Albert Schweitzer, "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Margaret Cousins, "Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary." Jean Jacques Rousseau, "There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend." Cicero, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." John F. Kennedy, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." William James, "The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated."
Top 10 List:
- Consider what you're truly grateful for
- Imagine you didn't have what you're grateful for
- Think about a time when someone expressed sincere thanks to you and how you felt
- Make a specific plan to express gratitute to specific people
- Express gratitude authentically routinely
- Even when being critical, first express gratitude
- Reflect on how you feel when you show gratitude
- Notice others who are good at showing gratitude
- Think about how much gratitude costs you and how valuable it is
- Take stock regularly on how you're doing regarding showing gratitude
Episode 28 - Resolutions
Quotes:
Oprah Winfrey, "Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right." Edith Lovejoy Pierce, "We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." Alfred Adler, “More important than innate disposition, objective experience, and environment is the subjective evaluation of these. Furthermore, this evaluation stands in a certain, often strange, relation to reality.” Albert Einstein, Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." Bernard Shaw, “The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them”
Top 10:
- Reflect on your year
- Consider all your roles
- Evaluate topics we've discussed
- Identify and celebrate successes
- Understand & learn from failures
- Convert learning into resolutions
- Keep them short, simple, & measurable
- Break them into sub-tasks
- Make them public
- Stay the course despite setbacks
Episode 29 - Leadership
Quotes:
Harold R. McAlindon, "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Thomas J. Watson Sr., “Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” Dwight Eisenhower, "Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." Peter F. Drucker, "Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things." Publilius Syrus, "Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm." Arnold H. Glasgow, “One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency.” Napoleon Bonaparte, "A leader is a dealer in hope."
Top 10 List:
- Focus on People
- Provide vision
- Link vision to operation
- Exude Passion
- Focus on value(s)
- Plan yearly, monthly, weekly
- Measure progress
- Modify course
- Be authentic
- Collaborate with leaders
Episode 30 - Staying Focussed
Quotes:
Italian proverb, "Often he who does too much does too little". Johann Friedrich Von Schiller, "Lose not yourself in a far off time, seize the moment that is thine". Alexander Graham Bell, “Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” Mariah Carey, “Never, never listen to anybody that tries to discourage you”. William James, “Act the part and you will become the part". Robert Henri, “Do whatever you do intensely”.
Themes:
- Clarity of vision and purpose
- Do the things that are most important
- Stay in the moment
- Strive for excellence
- Remove distractions
- Enjoy yourself
- Don't be discouraged
Episode 31 - Relationships
Quotes:
Arthur Schopenhauer, "Almost all of our sorrows spring out of our relations with other people". Brian Tracy, “The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between the leader and the led is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” Anthony D'Angelo, "Treasure your relationships, not your possessions". Stephen Covey, "Nothing is more exciting and bonding in relationships than creating together". Anonymous, "Relationships of trust depend on our willingness to look not only to our own interests, but also the interests of others". Anonymous, "We control fifty percent of a relationship. We influence one hundred percent of it". Anthony Robbins, "The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships".
Top 10 List:
- Take stock
- Broaden
- Reduce
- Deepen
- Emotional Bank Account (EBA)
- Express Gratitude
- Forgive
- Stay Positive
- Invest Time
- Keep Focus
Episode 32 - Self-Confidence
Quotes:
Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're probably right" Lao Tzu, "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you" Eleanor Roosevelt, "Nobody can make you feel incompetent without your consent" Unknown Author, "If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price"
Top 10
- Your current life is the result of your past thoughts and beliefs.
- Analyze your internal dialogue. What limiting self beliefs do you hold about yourself/your abilities/your appearance/your character?
- Challenge these negative beliefs - Where is the evidence? What has this belief cost you/prevented you from achieving?
- Replace these negative beliefs with more positive ones.
- Repeat the positive beliefs to yourself regularly even if, at first, it seems untrue. Suspend disbelief.
- Visualize the new confident you, how would you dress, behave, interact with others?
- What you think - you create. Self doubt leads to self sabotage. Be your own best friend.
- When you act confident and like yourself, others become convinced too.
- Thoughts lead to behaviour which leads to your outer reality. What you say and think about yourself is crucial because it is shaping your outer reality.
- Make a list of your strengths and past achievements that you are proud of: Accentuate the positive.
Episode 33 - Electronic Communication
Quotes:
Marshall McLuhan, “The new electronic independence re-creates the world in the image of a global village.” Earl Warren, “The fantastic advances in the field of electronic communication constitute a greater danger to the privacy of the individual” Storm Jameson, “We need the slower and more lasting stimulus of solitary reading as a relief from the pressure on eye, ear and nerves of the torrent of information and entertainment pouring from ever-open electronic jaws.”
Top 10 List:
- Assess your communication trends (what percentage is electronic, e-mail, conference calls, twitter, facebook, etc.)
- Link to Family/Friends/Colleagues - Facebook - choose carefully who you friend and set your friend types and permissions
- Folllow people who interest you - Twitter - celebs, experts in your field, people who have something interesting to say
- Communicate regularly - what you're doing, ask questions, comment on what others say
- Go mobile - make it more convenient to communicate electronically by using cell phone texting as well as iPhone and Blackberry apps
- Add video - use Skype Video, Google Chat, MSN chat - make the world a smaller virtual place
- Hone your electronic communication skills - text, e-mail, chat, Twitter, Facebook, Internet Video
-
Set the appropriate privacy level for your communication - basic internet security plus information access - work and personal accounts, settings
-
Plan your electronic communication - social networking time limits, e-mail, chat, etc. because it will suck you in
-
Unplug - electronic-free sabbatical - make Sundays, for example, screen-free days for you and significant others around you.
Episode 34 - Work-Life Balance
Quotes:
Albert Einstein, "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving." Diane Domeyer, “Companies today cannot afford to ignore the issue of work/life balance. Providing employees the flexibility to address personal commitments, without compromising the needs of the business, can make the difference between a good working environment and a great one.” Louisa May Alcott, “Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.” (1800s) Tom Stern, “How am I supposed to write a blog about work/life balance if you people won’t go away?” Paul McFedries, "Words and phrases commonly act as cultural signposts that give us clues about where we are and where we're going. The phrase "work-life balance" is a perfect example. Coined in 1986, its usage in the mainstream press was sporadic for many years [but increased dramatically after the year 2000]".
Top 10:
- Assess your own practices
- What should it be (equal isn't necessarily the goal)
- Blending - trend toward integrating both (beyond concept of "balance")
- Work from home
- Use technology - VPN, Smart Phones
- Set limits - schedule activities - universal calendar - block
- Do weekly planning
- Discuss with significant others - work & personal
- Make your time count
- Deep dives - work (deadlines) & personal time (vacations)
Episode 35 - Presentations
Quotes:
Wayne Burgraff, "It takes one hour of preparation for each minute of presentation time." Philip Crosby, "The audience only pays attention as long as you know where you are going." Ira Hayes, "No one ever complains about a speech being too short!" Gerald C. Meyers, "Humor heals the heckler." Author Unknown, "The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public." Guy Kawasaki, "A PowerPoint presentation should have ten slides, last no more than twenty minutes, and contain no font smaller than thirty point"
Top 10 List:
- Audience - who are they, what do they expect, what do you know about them
- Objectives - what do you want to be different after your presentation
- Three main points - reinforce at the beginning and again at the end
- Duration - plan to speak for half the time you have
- Slides/structure - Decide whether to use slides, how many
- Graphics/text - Make it engaging, minimize text, don't read, but don't overdo gratuituous graphics
- Audio-video/animation - Include if relevant but don't overdo
- Humor - Good for breaking the ice and for hecklers, in moderation
- Practice - Be in role and do runthroughs to practice, get timing right, etc.
- Delivery - Speak more slowly and with greater volume that you would think you should, ask for questions periodically
Episode 37 - Developing Skills into Habits
Quotes:
Aristole, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
- Assess the type of skill you're dealing with (simple to complex)
- Use the timeframe guidelines if helpful
- Repeat the behavior in the same setting/environment
- Avoid cues that lead to undesired behavior & add cues for the desired behavior
- Don't just remove a bad habit, replace it with a good ome
- Increase your motivation - introduce effective rewards
- Be consistent but don't worry about occasional lapses
- Solict the help of trusted friends, family, and/or support groups
- Assess progress regularly
- Determine if certain problems require professional help
Episode 38 - Designing Your Life
Quotes:
Jim Rohn, “If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” Jim Rohn, “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” Les Brown, “We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives. We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance and truly begin to live our dreams.” Steve Jobs, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Napoleon Hill, "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” Tony Robbins, “One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.”
Top 10 List:
- Assess how your current product is doing (yourself)
- Set your strategic objectives - future product success
- Collect and prioritize the list of new requirements to add and problems to fix
- Decide on design features to go into the next release (6 to 12 month horizon)
- Write the specification - what the new design will look like
- Built the prototype - try out the new designs - see what you think
- Get feedback on the prototype - see what others think
- Incorporate design changes based on the feedback
- Iterate - make small changes, get feedback, incorporate the feedback
- Celebrate your product launch - reap the benefits
Episode 39 - Effective Meetings
Quotes:
Top 10 List:
- Assess current effectiveness and identify problems or challenges
- Determine what should be dealt with in a meeting and what not
- Establish the objectives to be met
- Determine how formal a meeting should be
- Establish your role - formal leader or emergent leader
- Decide how much time you need
- Be punctual
- Work to be inclusive - model expected behavior
- Summarize action items, owners, and dates
- Think about what worked and what didn't
Episode 40 - Psychological Capital
Quotes:
“Hope doesn't come from calculating whether the good news is winning out over the bad. It's simply a choice to take action.” Anna Lappe, public speaker about sustainability, food politics, and social change. O Magazine, June 2003 "To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime." --Erich Fromm "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. " -- Martin Luther King, Jr. Resilience: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Confucius "When everything goes wrong, what a joy it is to test your soul to see if it has endurance and courage." Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis And just for fun: "There is a mismatch between what science knows and what business does." Daniel Pink
Top 10 List:
Hope 1-5 Resilience 6-10
- DO break a long-range goal into subgoals and then begin by concentrating on the first subgoal.
- DO tell yourself you have chosen the goal, so it is your job to go after it.
- DO enjoy the process along the way.
- DON’T look for one perfect way to get there.
- DON’T conclude you are lacking in talent when an initial strategy fails.
- Learn the best way for you to calm yourself at will. For example, some people do it by breathing deeply and regularly.
- Collect cues that stimulate positive emotions.
- Learn how to reframe negative thoughts in ways that open up opportunities.
- Keep an inventory of your assets and successful experiences with trouble that you have collected during your lifetime.
- Use curiosity to counter anxiety – turn up your explorer knob.
Numbers 1 through 5 derived from Hope Theory work by C. R. Snyder and colleagues.
Episode 41 - Reflection & Feedback
Quotes:
Peter Drucker, “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action."
Top 10 List:
- Reflect on what this podcast and others mean to you and what value they provide you
- Think about how you would tell a friend about this podcast as well as any other you listen to
- If you use iTunes, open it, click on the iTunes Store link on the left, then key in "life habits mentoring" in the search bar at the top right, click on the life habits album art picture, on the page itself scroll to the bottom and click on the link "Write a Review", key in your username and password, and then provide a rating out of five stars and then provide a brief few word title and write your review, and then press "submit". It can be a sentence or multiple paragraphs. Write whatever you'd like.
- If you have an iPhone or iPod Touch (or if you're listeing to this after the Apple iPad has been available) press on the iTunes icon on the screen, press the search button on the bottom right, key in "life habits mentoring" in the search bar at the top of the screen, press the life habits album art icon, press the arrow to the right of review, then press on "write a review", key in your password if you haven't already, rate the podcast, provide the short title and the review, and then press "send".
- If you have a Zune, you can go to the Zune marketplace, key in "life habits" in the search bar on the top right, find the life habits link under podcast series, click it and on the life habits page look to the middle right for the link "Write a Review", click it, sign-in, and provide your review and submit it.
- If you don't use iTunes, an iPhone/iPod/iPad, or a Zune, you can leave ratings and comments on the lifehabits.net site by just going to the site, clicking on "about Karel Vredenburg" if you want to leave a comment about the overall series by simply scrolling to the bottom of the page, keying in your name and e-mail (which is not shown but is required) and then keying in your comment and pressing "submit comment". You can also click on "home", go do a particular podcast episode and clicking on the rating or comment, and completing the same information for the episode.
- If you have any suggestions that you'd like to send to me, you can send them via e-mail to lifehabits@gmail.com or via Facebook messaging at facebook.com/karelvredenburg or via Twitter via twitter.com/karelvredenburg.
- Speaking of e-mail, Facebook, and Twitter, you can also simply tell your friends or followers about the podcast by sending them an e-mail, a Facebook update, or a Tweet, and simply directing them to http://tinyurl.com/lifehabits for iTunes or lifehabits.net for the website.
- Check how life habits in doing on iTunes in your country and if it's doing well, feel good about the contributions you've made
- Take this approach and apply it to other things in your life, whether other podcasts, commenting on updates that friends have written on Facebook, and also verbalize your appreciation more often for things that you value in your life.
Episode 42 - Sleep, Food, Mood, & Exercise
Guest:
Marie-Josee Salvas Shaar
Quote:
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." Mahatma Gandhi
Top 10 List:
- A fulfilling home life is good business
- Positive emotions make people more successful
- Food influences mood and performance
- Trying to attain your healthy weight is doomed to failure if you are sleep-deprived
- Self-regulation is not the solution
- Exercise improves brain circuitry
- Lack of sleep is a major brain impairment
- Constant busyness impedes greatness
- Multitasking is counter-productive
- Overworking can lead to under-performing
Episode 43 - Getting Unstuck
Quotes:
Rush Limbaugh, "Being stuck is a position few of us like. We want something new but cannot let go of the old - old ideas, beliefs, habits, even thoughts. We are out of contact with our own genius. Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we don't. In both cases we have to DO something."
Marilyn vos Savant, "Be in the habit of experimenting with your clothing so that you don't get stuck for life with a self-image developed over the course of high school".
Albert Einstein, "You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created the problem."
Albert Einstein or Rita Mae Brown, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".
Archimedes, "Give me a lever and I can move the world."
Top 10 List:
- Focus on only one goal on which you're stuck
- Consider what's keeping you stuck
- Don't dwell on underlying problems
- Set small, measurable, near-in goals
- Just do it!
- Build in personal reminders
- Involve others - public motivation - or help
- Celebrate each mini-success
- Never give up - or think too much about it
- Just do it!
Episode 44 - Advice and Mentoring
Quotes:
John Crosby, "Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction."
Donovan Bailey, "Every kid needs a mentor. Everybody needs a mentor."
Sanford I. Weill, "I remember the mentoring experiences of some teachers that I had, like a second term home room teacher in public school that really was very helpful to me."
Sean Paul, "I think kids should have a mentor and a role model, but that they shouldn't take one person's opinion to be what we call final assessment or judgment about how life is supposed to be."
Whoopi Goldberg, "We're here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark."
Dick Gregory, "One of things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people."
Top 10:
- Consider what you'd like to be mentored on
- Think about the people who are good at that and whom you admire
- Consider people you know (at work, school, etc.) and people you don't (ie, famous people), or professionals
- Use programs at your place of work or school to establish mentoring relationships
- If you don't have those, contact the person(s) directly or observe them
- Mentoring relationships can be a single get together or an ongoing set of meetings (informal or formal)
- State clearly what you'd like to get out of mentoring and come up with a plan
- Mentoring sessions can be structured, practice sessions, or just sounding board opportunities
- Consider being a mentor yourself to someone else - you'll learn as much as they do
- Evaluate mentoring relationships do determine whether to continue or whether you've accomplished your goals
Karel recaps and provides a review of each of the podcast episodes from 1 through 44.
Quotes: Jesse Jackson, "Your children need your presence more than your presents." Charles R. Swindoll, "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children." Haim Ginott, "If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others." Chuck Palahniuk, “Your folks are like God because you want to know they're out there and you want them to approve of your life, still you only call them when you're in a crisis and need something.” Abraham Lincoln, "All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." Orlando A. Battista, "The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day." Paul Smally, "Children desperately need to know - and to hear in ways they understand and remember - that they're loved and valued by mom and dad."
Top 10 List
- Take a moment to think about your parents and what influence they've had on you (capture some of those thoughts)
- Think about the your kids if you have them, nieces, nephews, or other kids your close to and consider what they mean to you
- Take note of the ways parents, kids, and others have contributed to who you are today
- Think about the last time you expressed appreciation to them and described their contribution - to parents & kids
- Make a plan to communicate your thoughts to your parents and if relevant kids (we often leave it too late) more than a M-Day Card
- Capture your thoughts re parents in written form and possibly in audio/video form as well and give it to them
- Capture your parents' stories, insights, and life lessons in written or audio/video form for you and your kids benefit
- Write down your life lessons to date and also plan to act upon them everyday
- Think about what you'd like to be appreciated for in the future and act upon that now
- Reflect on how all of this has felt to you and plan to focus on it if it is important to you
Quotes:
Isaac Newton, “If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.” Margaret Carty, “The nice thing about teamwork is that you always have others on your side” Babe Ruth, “The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don't play together, the club won't be worth a dime.” Marvin Weisbord, "Teamwork is the quintessential contradiction of a society grounded in individual achievement." Michael Jordan, "Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships." Paul McCartney, "I love to hear a choir. I love the humanity... to see the faces of real people devoting themselves to a piece of music. I like the teamwork. It makes me feel optimistic about the human race when I see them cooperating like that." Katzenbach & Smith, "Teamwork represents a set of values that encourage behaviors such as listening and constructively responding to points of view expressed by others, giving others the benefit of the doubt, providing support to those who need it, and recognizing the interests and achievements of others."
Top 10:
- Think about the teams that you're apart of - family, work, school, sports
- How well are those teams working? What's your role in those teams?
- Every team is different and your role in it will be too - learn the culture - the relationships
- Think about what others on the team want and then about what a win-win might be with them
- Establish relationships - get to know each other - go to lunch together - friend each other on Facebook
- Start team meeting on a light note - honestly finding out about what's going on in each members life
- Determine when individual contributions are called for and when only the team counts
- Reinforce other team members for accomplishments and also the entire team
- Sometimes a team pulls together best when there is an external threat or an urgent focus
- Reflect on the great feeling that comes from a group of people working well together toward a goal
Life Habits 48 - Difficult People
Quotes:
Keith Levick, "Although the difficult people make up 3-5% of the population, they create over 50% of the everyday problems!" Pema Chodron, ”If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” John W. Gardner, ”If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are.” Sophia Loren, “Getting ahead in a difficult profession [or with difficult co-workers] requires avid faith in yourself”. Eleanor Roosevelt, “Nobody can make you feel incompetent without your consent”
Difficult people can include those who constantly interupt, people who go on and on, people who are too bossy, who are critics, who are know it alls, etc. Wide range of people and situations that are problematic. However, there are a common set of approaches to dealing with them all.
Top 10:
- Understand why are they acting this way
- Determine if it is the situation or the person
- ut yourself in their shoes - truly listen to them
- Work with them one-on-one - develop rapport
- Go for a win-win solution (apply constraints - compromise - on both sides)
- Focus on the task and content (don't get sucked into arguments - walk away)
- Think before you speak
- Avoid problematic topics
- Avoid problematic people if needs be and if you can
- Keep track of your handling of difficult people to further improve
Life Habits 49 - Assertiveness
Quotes:
Sharon Anthony Bower, "The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others." Anthony Robbins, "The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives." Maxwell Maltz, "We are injured and hurt emotionally, not so much by other people or what they say and don't say, but by our own attitude and our own response." Eleanor Roosevelt, "Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn't have the power to say yes."
Definition from About.com "Assertiveness is a form of communication in which needs or wishes are stated clearly with respect for oneself and the other person in the interaction. Assertive communication is distinguished from passive communication (in which needs or wishes go unstated) and aggressive communication (in which needs or wishes are stated in a hostile or demanding manner)."
Top 10:
- Decide what you believe on a particular topic and how important it is to you -
- Give yourself the right to express your views in a way that is congruent with your views (don't say, "I may be wrong but" when you're certain)
- Make direct eye contact - don't look down or off to the side when you're speaking
- Maintain appropriate body posture - communicate confidence
- Use a steady and firm voice and stop interruptions firmly but politely
- Focus on the topic and don't get distracted
- Own your own statements - say "I" when it is appropriate
- Listen deeply to what others say in reply
- Practice prior to important moments of assertiveness and then find situations to practice further
- Reflect regularly on how you can improve - ask trusted others to give you feedback
Life Habits 50 - Effective Management
Quotes:
Agha Hasan Abedi, “The conventional definition of management is getting work done through people, but real management is developing people through work.” Peter Drucker, “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Jack Welch, "If you pick the right people and give them the opportunity to spread their wings—and put compensation as a carrier behind it—you almost don't have to manage them." David Ogilvy, "Hire people who are better than you are, then leave them to get on with it . . . ; Look for people who will aim for the remarkable, who will not settle for the routine." Napoleon Bonaparte, "The art of choosing men is not nearly so difficult as the art of enabling those one has chosen to attain their full worth."
Top 10:
- Take stock of how you're doing as a manager (ask others)
- Assert your formal authority but still earn it everyday
- Delegate and empower people
- Build relationships and trust (but know limits given your role)
- Hire, develop, and coach others
- Foster collaboration and teamwork
- Make decisions, especially tough ones
- Be open and honest and transparent
- Coach, resolve conflicts, and model - walk the talk
- Be accountable (budgets, deliverables)
- Manage but also lead (provide vision, inspiration, passion, etc.)
Quotes:
Blain Lee, "The leader who exercises power with honor will work from the inside-out, starting with himself." Aristotle, "Happiness resides not in pastimes and amusements, but in virtuous activities." The Dalai Lama, "Happiness can be found in routines." George Bernard Shaw, "The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them, make them."
Top 10
- Rethink your relationship to sleep
- Keep the cortisol under control
- Bo to bed and get up at regular hours
- Move!
- Cut back on caffeine
- Be enlightened - or not!
- Have a light night-time snack
- Try some sleep-inducing music
- Get comfy
- Learn how your body functions
Life Habits 52 - Taking things personally
Quotes:
Dalai Lama, “We also often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally.” Elbert Hubbard, “The art of winning in business is in working hard - not taking things too seriously” Ani Difranco, “Taking me seriously is a big mistake. I certainly wouldn't.” Don Miguel Ruiz, "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream...It is NOT important to me what you think about me, and i don't take what you think personally.... I dont have the need to be accepted. I dont have the need to have someone tell me, " Miguel you are great"... What ever YOU think, whatever YOU feel is YOUR problem not MY problem. " "Personal importance or taking things personally, is an expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about me!! Nothing people do is because of you!! It's because of themselves!!"
- Realize that most people are focused on themselves and not you
- Look at the facts and believe in them
- Don't rely on other people's opinions more than your own
- Think about what it says about the other person given what they are saying to you
- Get the focus off you - it is not only self-destructive but also annoying to others
- If appropriate, ask for clarification
- Engage in some activities that will generate positive feelings in you
- Become aware of situations, people, and your own state of mind that are problematic
- Be more aware yourself of other's potential sensitivities
- Be an observer of how people handle feedback and learn from the best
Thomas Jefferson, "The moment a person forms a theory his imagination sees in every object only the traits which favor that theory.”
Charles Darwin, "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge"
Bertrand Russell, "One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision."
Research: An (fMRI) study shows where in the brain the confirmation bias arises and how it is unconscious and driven by emotions.
Top 10 List:
- Examine your current practices
- Read/view an alternative view piece
- Follow someone on Twitter/Facebook randomly
- Do a Google search for opinions opposite to yours
- Focus on the facts and not opinion wherever possible
- Admit when you don't know enough
- Debate the opposite point if view
- Consider what effect polarization causes
- Think about what you're modelling for others
- Find a role model of evenhandedness and fairness
Quotes:
Norman Vincent Peale, "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." Zig Ziglar, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude “ Yogi Berra, “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is” Bobby Unser, "Desire! That’s the one secret of every man’s career. Not education. Not being born with hidden talents. Desire." Abraham Lincoln, "The best way to predict the future is to create it" Confucius, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Denis Waitley, "Don’t ever let economics alone determine your career or how you spend the majority of your time." Dan Zevin, "Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire”
Top 10 List:
- Prepare
- Practice
- Dress & body language
- Be slightly early to be on time
- Listen & think before you speak
- Avoid pat answers
- Stay positive & don't exaggerate
- Be confident and enthusiastic
- Be specific, give examples
- Thank sincerely
Life Habits 56 - Get Up and Move
Guest: Marie-Josee Shaar
Quotes:
Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity. - John F. Kennedy
“When well-being comes from engaging our strengths and virtues, our lives are imbued with authenticity.” - Martin Seligman Use of strengths is engaging and energizing.
Top 10 List:
Getting Rid of Excuses
1. I don’t have time! 2. I don’t have talent! 3. I hate exercise!
Making change easier
4. Sleep 5. Food 6. Mood 7. Shorter duration
Making exercise more attractive
8. Use your strengths 9. Add Meaning 10. Use the Peak-End Rule
LH57 - Vegetarianism
Guest: Dilip Barman
Quotes: "Meat and milk production generates more greenhouse gas emissions than transportation ... [and is] One of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global … also a major source of land and water degradation” [H. Steinfeld et.al., Livestock’s Long Shadow: Environmental Issues and Options. United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization, 2006.
“In terms of immediacy of action and the feasibility of bringing about reductions in a short period of time, it [reducing meat and dairy consumption] clearly is the most attractive opportunity” [“UN Says Eat Less Meat to Curb Global Warming”, The Observer, Sept. 7, 2008, page 1 (quoting Rajendra Pachauri, Chair, UN Intergovernmental t Panel on Climate Change.
"I have from an early age abjured the use of meat, and the time will come when men will look upon the murder of animals as they now look upon the murder of men." --Leonardo Da Vinci
Top 10
Start slow - you may be interested in moving to a plant-based diet, but it doesn't have to happen overnight. Try a stepped approach like:
- Do some of your own research on a plant-based lifestyle.
- Join a local vegetarian society
- Stop buying meat/fish or ordering meat/fish at restaurants, while reducing the use of eggs and dairy; if you wish, try meat analogues
- Stop buying or ordering eggs. If you like to bake, try any number of egg substitutes; if you like scrambled eggs, try scrambled tofu.
- Stop using dairy milk and look instead for nut "milk", hemp "milk", or other beverages to satisfy your desires for milk
- Be more careful with hidden animal products - learn to avoid animal-based ingredients like some glycerins, lactic acid, and soup stocks.
- Stop using cheese or other dairy products. Try any number of soy- / tapioca- / rice- based "cheese"s.
- Decide if you want to continue to use or perhaps donate clothing made from wool or silk. Consider no longer purchasing such items.
- Stop purchasing honey, and explore other sweeteners like maple syrup, brown rice syrup, or black strap molasses.
- Read ingredient labels to avoid honey, such as in breads and crusts.
LH58 - Authentic Listening
Quotes:
Ralph Nichols, "The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." M. Scott Peck, "You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time." Michael P. Nichols, "There's a big difference between showing interest and really taking interest." Winston Churchill, "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." Robert Schuller, "Big egos have little ears." Turkish Proverb, "If speaking is silver, then listening is gold." Stephen R. Covey, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
Top 10 List:
- Pay attention
- Avoid distractions
- Show that you're listening
- Focus on verbal and non-verbal communication
- Defer all judgment
- Set aside prejudices and opinions
- Stop your internal dialog
- Restate or summarize what you've understood
- Ask questions to explore issues deeper
- Provide your own views
LH60 - Complaining Effectively
Guest - Dr. Guy Winch
Quotes: Chinese Proverb: “It is better to light a single candle than curse the darkness.”
Mark Twain: I think a compliment ought to always precede a complaint where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.”
John F. Kennedy: “One person can make a difference and every person should try.”
Francois Duc de La Rochefoucauld: Many complain of their memory, few of their judgment.”
Top Ten:
- Identify exactly what you want to achieve by complaining.
- Address your complaint to the person who can get you the result you want.
- Avoid anger, insults or sarcasm.
- Begin with a neutral or positive statement.
- Voice only one complaint at a time.
- Provide necessary detail, not emotional commentary.
- Be clear about what you’re asking for.
- End with a neutral of positive statement.
- Treat the customer service representative respectfully—they didn’t cause the problem.
- Escalate your complaint to senior executives if you don’t get a resolution.
LH61 - Mastering Gratitude
Guest: Kathryn Britton
Quotes:
“If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.” ~Frank A. Clark “The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.” ~William Penn “One of the ways we can honor those who face great hardship is to be aware of how blessed we are not to face the same trouble.” ~ Anonymous “When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them.” ~ Chinese Proverb “The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!” ~ Henry Ward Beecher
Top 10 List:
- When people systematically cultivate gratitude in their lives, they benefit physically, psychologically, and in their relationships. “Gratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people’s lives.”
- The first step is to acknowledging the particular goodness of your life.
- The second step is to recognize that the source of this goodness lies mostly outside of yourself. “We could not be who we are or where we are in life without the contributions of others.”
- Pay attention to good things large and small. It is a blessing to be able to walk, to enjoy food, to feel fresh air, …
- Pay attention to bad things that are avoided. You wreck your car, but your life was saved. You fall, but break no bones.
- Practice downward comparisons – things could be worse, used to be worse, or are worse for someone else. “Sorrows remembered sweeten present joy.” ~ Robert Pollock
- Establish regular times to practice being grateful, for example at bedtime, during meals, on arising. Gratitude is a strength that improves with practice.
- Keep a gratitude log can help you become aware of the many blessings in your life. Reading old entries can remind you of things you have started taking for granted.
- Share the practice of looking for three good things in each day with your family. It can be a lovely bedtime routine with a child or an engaging dinner topic.
- It takes effort to be aware of the goodness of life. Use whatever rituals help you remember to give thanks.
William James, "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." Tom Brokaw, "It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference."
Talking with a close friend about not taking vacation and also too focussed solely on others, partners, family members, friends, work and work colleagues.
Quotes: Diane von Furstenburg, "Be your own best friend and don't forget to wink at yourself now and then" Buddha, "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Henry David Thoreau, "I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude"
The 5 Rs:
- Reflect
- Reenergize
- Rejuvenate
- Refocus
- Relax
LH64 - Visualizing Progress Quotes:
Robert Collier, "Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blue print, and begin to build." David Seabury, "Try out your ideas by visualizing them in action." Unknown Author, "When performance is MEASURED, performance improves."
Advice:
- Set a goal and get a mental picture what success will look and feel like (make it real and specific)
- Find a picture or other visual representation of that mental picture and use it as motivation (analog or digital - iPhone background)
- Choose a metric to track your progress to the goal and plot it visually (analog or digital)














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January 24th, 2012 at 3:07 pm
These are great advice lists that will really help anyone. The article is very interesting to read. Thanks for posting and sharing it with us.